IT ENDS WITH US – COLLEEN HOOVER

**Spoilers Ahead, Read On With Caution**

**Trigger Warnings Too***

I so want to do this book justice with this review, because you don’t understand how good or how powerful, or just how much I love it, and enjoy reading it, or what it inspired from me. It was the first ever Colleen Hoover book I ever bought and read, and created the first chain reaction where I then had to read everything CoHo has written. (I have read everything bar maybe two? And that’s because they’re tricky to get in England through normal shops.) This is probably one of my absolute, all-time favourite books from last year. CoHo  is therefore one of my top ten writers, and I personally think you should all be reading her stuff.  

IT ENDS WITH US is set in the beautiful backdrop of Boston, this should be enough of a reason for you go go buy your copy ASAP. This is the reason why I am so adamant that I have to go to Boston one day, and also why I started following about a million Boston Instagram accounts. Basically, It’s so well described as a city, that its made me start planning a trip to Boston/New York for January 2019. 

We first meet Lily Bloom sitting on a roof garden wall of an apartment building that isn’t hers, overlooking the sights of Boston. She’s finally made it to the place she’s alway told herself to get to, because it’s better in Boston. She’s spent her life growing up in Maine with her mother and father, and so now, after her fathers funeral, and her silent eulogy, she’s there. Then we get to meet Dr. Ryle Kincaid. He’s described on the back of the books as being “assertive, stubborn, and maybe even a little arrogant” (so all the douchey qualities I apparently like in a male character) and “also sensitive, brilliant and has a total soft spot for Lily.” (Perfectly reasonable clash of characteristics if you ask me.) So he and this is clearly right up my alley; having people collide then get their romance on. Ryle gets to come with all sorts of fun people, as his sister, Allysa, and her husband Marshall are thrown into the mix. 

The story balances between the reveal we get about Lily as a teenager, and her now. We’re reading Lily’s day to day life, and then her journals she used to write to Ellen DeGeneres. (She was big on Finding Nemo, and the phrase “Just Keep Swimming”, I bet she was stoked when she found out about Finding Dory…) The journals were her way of documenting what was happening between her and a boy called Atlas (sigh) in the empty house behind hers. 

I absolutely loved Atlas as a character, and I really enjoyed getting to read their young romance, and protection of each other. It was so refreshing, and kind of beautiful to get to see. My heart felt warm and tingly. Atlas is by far one of the best CoHo boys going, but that is to be rated out properly at a later date! 

SPOILERS BELOW, STOP NOW IF YOU DON’T WANNA KNOW!!

We get to see the struggling balance between right and wrong on this story. What’s one too many? Can you forgive? Or do you immediately walk alway? Would you still love someone the same after being hit?

It’s such a sensitive topic to discuss, but I have to walk my mind through it. This book brought me to tears over the conflicting emotions being felt throughout.

You want Lily to be happy with Atlas, with Ryle, to then have that happy perfect life, because she deserves it. You love Ryle, but then he hits you (Lily), but that doesn’t instantly shut off loving him, does it? No. He promises it was an accident, he didn’t mean to push you so hard, you were laughing and his hands were burnt. His big surgery is soon, and is really important, it could mean big things for him. You (Lily) apologise, you’re sorry you laughed, it wasn’t funny, you were tipsy. He’s sorry too. And then things go back to normal for a while; until he finds it. The phone number Atlas hid behind your phone case to use to call him, because he saw the bruise on your eye and begged you to leave him, because you know better than anyone than to stay. But you love him, and he didn’t mean it. So he finds the number and flips out. You’re scared, you’re scared he’s going to leave you or hurt you, he’s angry and storms off, you follow, pulling on his arm to stop him before he descends the stairs. In the pull you’re suddenly pushed away and down the stairs, and it’s black. When you wake up he keeps repeating that you fell down the stairs, you’re hurt, you fell. Fell. You know he pushed you, twice he’s pushed you now, it’s destroying you, but its been twice. Scream for him to leave, make your throat raw from it, until he goes. He’s adamant you fell, but he loves you, loves you so much. But the sight of him hurts you, breaks you down. Minutes can change everything. There won’t be a next time, until there is. Your niece is born, she’s beautiful, sparks that paternal need in you both. He hurries home with you close behind, but not close enough. He was snooping and found your old journals where you wrote about you and Atlas, his jealousy is like no anger you’ve seen before. But he only reveals it after he has you pinned to a wall and he tries forcing himself on you. You shove and fight to get away, but he bites, hard. He gets you to the bed telling you how he hasn’t “showed you how much he loves you” and all you can see is your parents. All the hurt and pain your mum went through. You scream for him to get off, to walk away, to not do this. You scream loud, so he headbutts you. This is what his love is for you. It’s abuse and it’s ugly, and it was so close to something he couldn’t ever take back. Love is not supposed to be ugly. His wasn’t always, but it is now, and it’s not right. When you find out you’re pregnant, and make sure he’s no longer a part of your life, remember you can’t forgive him, because you’re stronger than that. You are better than his attempt at wrong love. When you give birth and bring Emerson into the world, she is worth more than that cycle. It ends. It ends with the two of you.

I’m sorry if that was hard to read. But this is why this is my favourite book. I’m utterly sickened by the events that occur, but it makes me feel so much. Anger, compassion, confusion, happiness, pride, sorrow, pain, revulsion, joy, and relief. At no point in the story are you not swayed and gripped. I applaud CoHo for this. This was done with masterful skill, and a delicate but firm touch. This stays with me.

Be brave and bold, like Lily.